A wedding speech is a toast. It does not need an intermission.
Three minutes is a useful target
My advice is to aim for about three minutes. That is a recommendation, not a law of the universe. A couple may ask for something different. A parent may need a little more room. But if nobody has given you a time limit, shorter is a very good starting point.
Five people giving five-minute speeches is twenty-five minutes before applause, microphone handoffs or the friend who says he has just one more thing. The schedule does not only contain your speech. It contains everybody’s.
Give the room one story it can understand
Say who you are. Tell one story that shows something good about the person or the couple. Connect it to the life they are building. Raise the glass. There is your structure.
Pick a story the whole room can follow. If the punch line requires twelve minutes of background and knowledge of your group chat from 2014, save it for the after-party. The couple’s guests should not need a password to enjoy the speech.
Keep private things private. Exes, humiliating stories and bachelor-party evidence are not a wedding gift. Funny is welcome. Making the couple brace for impact is a different activity.
Practice out loud. The kitchen counts.
Reading it in your head is not a rehearsal. Say it out loud and time it. Leave a little room for laughter, emotion and the moment when you look up at the people you are talking about.
Use notes you can actually read. If you use your phone, make the text large and stop notifications from interrupting you. Ask the MC how to hold the microphone and where to stand. A tiny bit of preparation makes the whole thing feel less like a surprise exam.
And if your voice catches, take a breath. Nobody is asking you to be made of stone. Let the moment happen, find your place and keep going.
The couple needs a plan too
Choose the speakers before the wedding. Give them the same time guidance and a clear place in the running order. Tell your MC who is speaking, how to pronounce their names and who has permission to add a surprise toast.
An open microphone can sound generous during planning and become a very long decision during dinner. You can love your friends without inviting every one of them to deliver closing arguments.
Say something true. Say something kind. Finish while the room is still with you. That is a speech people remember for the right reasons.
For your own event
Aim for about three minutes unless the couple asks for something else.
Use one clear story and finish with a toast.
Practice out loud and agree the speaker order with the MC.